let's talk depression: it's OKAY to not ALWAYS be ok.

when I first started “publicly” blogging, I opened up about being depressed and “getting over depression”. With the rise of social media I think we can all agree that it does not take a doctor to diagnose you as depressed: you can just FEEL it.

So why are we talking about depression again and why does depression even exist?

Speaking from my own experience, depression comes from expectations. We expect ourselves to be at a certain place in life, with certain things, with certain people by a certain time; and when we are not there yet we are faced to deal with the feelings and question of WHY NOT.

That part though, the why not.. is a great question to ask but we must ALSO remember that maybe, it just isn’t our time yet. Maybe our time will never happen, maybe it will. But one thing we know for sure is if we quit doing what we are striving to do/become, we’ll never get there.

I am fighting feelings of depression and fighting them hard. For me being depressed is easy. It’s easy for my mind to come up with reasons on why I can’t be happy and why the world is against be and my chocolate skin and never wants me to win.

It’s so easy that I have to mentally remind myself and also pray HARD to not go there. But in order for me not to go there I also have to allow myself to feel how I feel. It’s ok to be disappointed, sad, annoyed, frustrated, upset, the list goes on and on. I am starting to allow myself to feel those feelings because I recognize they are there for a reason. I find that when I just allow myself to feel how I feel, I can dodge the depression wave. Meaning if I just allow myself to be annoyed and not pretend to be okay I’m no longer mentally fighting with the expectation that EVERYTHING is supposed to ALWAYS be alright, because guess what? It’s not. There is a time for everything and sometimes you just gotta go through the feels and not expect yourself to always be okay.

It’s okay to not always be okay, ok?

Until next time my loves!

ShannonAshley